“A group of friends stuck the end of a flag in their buddies ass while he was passed out.”
“It’s out of control; you’ll have the time of your life.”
“I originally booked for 4 nights but ended up staying for 2 weeks.”
“A girl who had never stayed in a hostel was checking into her room.
When she turned on the lights in her room there were 5 naked guys around a naked girl kneeling in the middle of floor.
The guys ran like cockroaches but the girl on the floor just stayed there.
She looked at the girl in the doorway, smiled, and said “Hello.”
I think the new girl was traumatized.”
Those were only a few of the things I heard about one of the craziest hostels in Budapest.
The place I’m talking about is not a place where you go to detox, it’s where you go to RETOX.
Retox Party Hostel in Budapest, Hungary is known for their chaos.
Hell, they even encourage it.
I’ve stayed in a handful of well-known European party hostels.
But something about this place sounded like it might be the best one of them all.
After everything I heard about Retox I knew I had to experience it first hand.
When arriving at Retox Party Hostel you enter the downstairs where all the partying happens.
Once you find someone who works there they’ll buzz you through the doors to the upstairs.
Upstairs has an open center to the sky above a view to the bar below.
All the rooms, reception, and livable parts of the hostel are on the outer perimeter of the balcony.
During my check-in they wanted to make sure I knew what I was getting myself into:
“You do know this is a party hostel, right?”
“It will be loud. You might see someone puking or having sex in your room. There will be drunk travelers everywhere.”
That’s why I’m here.
“You’ve made a great choice.”
I think I did.
After check-in and your tour of the hostel you’re given a key.
But it’s not your typical room key.
Instead it’s a bracelet that looks like a watch.
The clock area is what unlocks the door to your room.
It’s quite genius.
They know they’re dealing with a bunch of drunks that would constantly lose their keys.
This way the bracelet(which is waterproof) never comes off.
So it doesn’t matter how shit-faced you get.
As long as you’re not trying to undo your bracelet you’ll be alright.
Another smart idea they have is their 2nd bracelet.
Similar to the ones you get at concerts.
This one has the Retox address and phone number on it.
Once again they know their demographic is aimed towards drunken tourists.
You can be shit-faced and lost but as long as you can find a taxi you should be able to make it back to Retox.
Much better than sleeping behind a dumpster somewhere.
My room was “The Love Dungeon”.
The mural on the wall was a great work of art that many people should appreciate.
It was a large room with 6 bunk beds.
However there were only 8 lockers, so 4 beds were without lockers.
Not like that mattered anyways because only 3 of the lockers had doors.
And the lockers that actually had doors didn’t even have working locks.
The beds were typical hostel bunks, nothing special.
An OK pillow with an OK mattress.
Fortunately they were clean, so that’s always good.
The room had a toilet behind one door and the shower and sink were behind another door.
However, the smell from the toilet would come into the shower area.
Luckily it didn’t seep into the rest of the room though.
It just stayed behind those 2 doors.
Additional Showers and Toilets.
There’s 3 additional showers near the computer room.
They were a bit larger with detachable shower heads and a bit cleaner(as far as appearance goes).
However they’re available for everyone in the hostel.
Which meant some people would sneak off in there for “Sexy Time”.
This couldn’t have been more apparent than on the 1st day I went to use one.
There was a condom hanging on the shower head.
Needless to say I used the next shower over.
Unfortunately all the shower holders were broken, so the shower heads hung down to the floor.
You kind of had to hold it in your hands the whole time.
Unless of course you don’t mind water spraying everywhere.
There was also extra sinks and toilets near the computer room too.
The toilet space is smaller than the ones in your rooms and most of the toilet seats were barely hanging on.
I never slipped in vomit or any other bodily fluids.
But I would recommend always wearing shoes in those bathrooms.
Your room might be the safest place to walk barefoot.
When they clean the bedrooms each morning they sweep and mop the (hardwood) floors.
But I’m not sure about the floors anywhere else in the hostel.
The other things upstairs is the computer room, but only 1 of the 2 computers worked.
The speed was decent and I never had to wait to use it.
Most people chose to use the WiFi on their phones.
They also have a kitchen/common room upstairs with 4 couches.
In there they have a Daily Events Board which is a helpful reminder.
On the day of the Booze Cruise I almost forgot to buy my ticket.
Luckily I saw the board and managed to secure 1 of the last 10 left.
The downstairs is where all the late night craziness happens.
I’ll start from the front to the back.
As soon as you walk into Retox you walk through a small corridor which opens to the large downstairs.
Immediately to your left is a room that has 1 couch in it and it’s dimly lit.
I hardly saw anyone go in there.
But I’m certain people go in there to get mischievous with each other later in the night.
A few more steps after that are separate bathrooms for men and women.
The men’s bathroom was rather shitty(but NOT literally).
Reminiscent of a bathroom in a rundown punk club in the bad part of town.
Once you get past those there are many couches and chairs for the night of drinking to begin.
As you get closer to your holy grail, The Bar, you have other rooms on each side of you.
They also host their Jager Train in there on every Sunday.
The room to the right of the bar seems to be one of the busiest the entire night.
It’s the Beer Pong room.
Guess what happens in that room?
As well as Flip Cup, and Flip Pong.
After that slight detour you are finally face to face with the bar.
The place where most of your money is going to disappear.
And the reason your head is killing you the next morning.
Especially if you challenge any of the Staff to a Strawpedo drink-off.
Don’t know what a strawpedo is, just ask.
You’ll find out rather quickly and hate yourself later.
The bar stays busy and gets packed each night.
On some nights it gets a little less rowdy when there’s a large event like a Booze Cruise, Pub Crawl, or the famous Sparty.
All these events are heavily promoted by the hostel throughout the week.
My only complaint with the Staff was no one informed us we’d need a minimum of 8000 HUF to buy a drinking card at the Sparty.
I showed up 500 HUF short and it took me 2 hours to find someone who would offer me the HUF to be able to drink.
Aside from that the staff was Very Helpful and Knowledgeable.
They also love to party as much as you do.
You’ll see them partying and having a good time throughout the night as well.
The location is pretty good.
There’s a bank right around the corner and 2 grocery stores in each direction from the front door.
You’re only a few minutes walk from St. Stephen’s Basilica and a street with a bunch of restaurants.
Best of all it’s located down the street from INSTANT.
The biggest Ruin Pub in Budapest.
If you’re looking to get lost in what I call “The Labyrinth Of Liquor” you will have no trouble there.
All the toilets seats need replacements.
The showers need fixing and better cleaning.
Not letting people hang their clothes off the balcony would also make the place look cleaner.
At the same time I actually felt like Retox was quite safe.
The night of the Sparty I left my shorts on the computer chair and I had a GoPro inside the pocket.
The next morning when I woke up my stuff was exactly where I left it.
The Final Word.
What would be my final verdict of Retox Party Hostel be?
Well, I didn’t see anyone try to put a flag is someones butt or a girl try to gobble 5 dongs at once.
But there were a few nights where more than 1 person was sharing a bed together.
And partial nudity was never hard to find.
With that said, Retox was definitely a good time.
In closing(of this extremely long post), I would recommend staying at the Retox Party Hostel.
Even if it’s for only a couple of nights to get a feel for the place.
If you don’t mind trashy bathrooms and loud nights you’ll love it.
If you want something cleaner and quieter there’s plenty of other hostels in Budapest.
You can always come back to Retox to hang out in their bar and get crazy with all the crazies that stay there.
Have you ever stayed at the Retox Party Hostel?
If you have any wild stories let’s read about them below.